Heather Norman Smith
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The Sting of Rejection: What I Didn’t Expect About Foster Care

1/26/2019

2 Comments

 
Eight times. That’s the number of times, so far, that we’ve been passed over for a foster care placement since becoming licensed in October of 2018. And it hurts.

The entire nine-month process of becoming licensed, and now the waiting, was and is an act of faith. I have never had to rely on God more, because I have no control over this situation. And even in my frustration, I recognize this as an opportunity to grow closer to the Lord as I learn to trust in His timing. So, even though I express sadness at not being selected, I still trust that God has a perfect plan, and I only want what He has in store for us. Nothing less. Nothing more. But being passed up still hurts, and it’s something I didn’t expect going into this.

Not all eight have been outright rejections. Sometimes, the situation just changed. And the truth is, none of them have been rejections of us. I know this isn’t personal. There are lots of circumstances involved. Most of them time, we’re given little information, if any, about the decisions that are ultimately reached for each child, but I’ve been assured there’s nothing in our profile that “handicaps” us when it comes to being selected. But it still hurts.

On one hand, I rejoice over the fact that we don’t have a placement, because that means there isn’t a child that needs us because he was taken from his family. We are currently only licensed to foster one boy under the age of six, so obviously, that limits the amount of calls we get. But if we were able to take siblings, or a teenager, no doubt we’d already have a placement. So, the need is real, and I’m hesitant to say anything that might discourage someone from becoming a foster parent. I know that any inconvenience to me, or any emotional upset I have over the waiting, is nothing compared to the trauma these children bring with them when they are placed. But it still hurts.

I’m ready to do what God has called us to do, and to not have the unknown looming over our heads. Even so, I trust that God is protecting us from the wrong assignment and preparing us for the right one, and that He has it all worked out. But it still hurts.
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We should hear back about our ninth "yes" on Monday, 1/28.
​Prayers appreciated!
2 Comments
Norma Poore
1/28/2019 12:04:35 pm

Heather, I was a foster parent for nearly 7 years. It was a slow start for us as well. It seemed like once we received a child or two, God opened the door for many more. We did take a few teens, but not many because I had three that were young at the time. I applaud you and your family for stepping out in faith. Foster kids need Christian families to not only tell, but show the love of Christ to. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions from one who's been there. Blessings,
Norma

Reply
Heather
1/31/2019 04:10:10 pm

Thank you, Norma! I really appreciate it.

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